dream: i dreamt that i was with some comrades from school, they are nice and they were nice in the dream.
we spent our time playing some detective game trying to figure out who was which role, i think i loved it so much i felt too comfortable and fell asleep on my friends shoulder, he didnt seem to mind too much but you cant ever be sure to be honest.
this girl i dont know too well seemed to want to hug me, i can only guess its because she felt pity for me or something, as we hugged it felt really nice and sweet, but everything started spinning, i felt so dizzy and scared, i told myself i would never hug again.
interperation: loving is one of the most beautiful feelings, but it scares me so much that i wont ever be able to love again.
dream: i dreamt of my ex, she was so sweet, she always has been.
we hugged and cuddled and i felt some beautiful feeling, and then as i was about to kiss her i remembered how things really are and i woke up.
interperation: i dont know
dream: he followed me into my dreams that time, its a little ironic with the right context.
i feel the reason for the whole collapse of it all was because i tried to forget everything in an attempt to escape the situation i was in, and instead i just seemed to make it worse and ruined the best thing i had. it was all for nothing too since now not only is it all coming back to me in my dreams, but the consequences of forgetting it all is too and now im trying my best to devalue it too, it just isnt working, it isnt fucking working.
i wish none of this happened, i wish i didnt let it consume me, i just keep getting worse.
sorry wont unfuck what has been fucked, im still in a horrible fucking situation and i cant even think clearly or remember anything unless my dreams come to haunt me about it.
i just wish none of this happened
i think all hatred towards me is both reasonable but a part of me still does believe even though ive been a shitty person, its a reasonable response to this shitty enviroment. i just wish it didnt all come to this, i wish none of this ever happened.
i dont want to hurt anyone
i hope you understand?
interperation: i dont feel too well mentally and im in a bad situation, my mind will not let me escape it this time it seems.
im sorry i couldn't remember who you were to me, i really did love you, and i do everytime i remember what we did together. its just so fucking painful to remember anything when im going through times like this.
i slept it all away, i slept all of it away. a whole year turned into a month at most, a second inside of my head feels like a year of misery, meanwhile a year of my life feels like only a second.
i hope whoever is reading this is in a better spot than me, im sure theres some hope for you.
im so fucking scared
being human hurts a little too much for my taste.
to experience but not to feel.
ive been gone for such a long time, i think ive lost myself or whatever ive been.
im trying to quit any amount uf drug-use, meeting new people, trying to unbecome everything that seems to hurt about me.
i think someday maybe i'll be a likeable person, yeah? :3
i regret hurting the people i did hurt a year ago. i don't like hurting people, but now i can't understand them.. whatever they've become now im sure im partly to blame, but i don't like it..
similar to me in a way.
this is barely a dream page anymore is it, just sad ramblings.. such is alot of my projects, they devolve or evolve into something else entirely very quickly :(